so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We're too hungover to prance.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
