sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She even gives head with a lisp.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
