He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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