im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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