you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
