SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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