she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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