So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
