I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
