I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
