then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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