her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
