it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
