just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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