He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I would ride that face into the sunset
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
