I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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