Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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