I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
