You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
