took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
