like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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