end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
