She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
