whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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