As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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