May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
