Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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