she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
