My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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