if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
