We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
