I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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