get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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