found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize