i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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