I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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