I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
