Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
