Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
