is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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