You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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