sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
