It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
