woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
