She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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