walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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