Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
