Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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