my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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