She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
