i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
