in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
they're like a gay fantastic four
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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