I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
